


The taste of victory

by Flexor



Category: Kim Possible (Cartoon)
Genre: Shego wins for once, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-30 00:16:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flexor/pseuds/Flexor
Summary: Blame youtube for this. They suggested that I should watch a few Kim Possible cartoons - fights between Kim and Shego mostly. Kim Possible is one of those shows where Good always triumphs over Evil, and the villains always escape at some point. I like Shego. I'll root for Shego. But she never gets to win.Until now.





	The taste of victory

Shego felt like she had rarely felt before. A smile was on her lips, and she moved through her apartment in slow, languorous steps. It was late in the afternoon, the summer sun about to dip beneath the horizon. The heat of the day was slowly giving way to the cooler temperatures of night. She walked over to the chest of drawers, picked up the wine bottle, and once more looked at the label: _Mule du Pape 1724_. Officially the best wine year in the whole of France since the dawn of time.

Shego didn't like wine.

It gave her heartburn.

_This_ bottle, though, she would enjoy.

She picked up a corkscrew. Did bottles of wine fear being opened, or did they look forward to it? Was it their death, or was it the fulfillment of their whole lives? Never mind. With a razor sharp fingernail, she cut off the bit covering the top of the bottle. She turned the corkscrew and pulled till the cork came out with a polite _pop_. She smelled the cork. Just what you were supposed to smell, Shego didn't know. It smelled like wine to her. She did know that you had to leave a bottle of wine open for a while, to breathe, before drinking.

"You. Me," Shego whispered to the bottle. "In the bathroom. In one hour."

Should she find some cheese and crackers? Should she enjoy the wine in its purest form? She would decide later. She walked into her bedroom, took off her clothes, and put on a floating green nightgown. She looked at herself in the mirror, sat down, picked up a nail file and sharpened her nails. That done, she took her hairbrush and started to brush her long black hair. 

* * *

 

Shego had had enough. Dr. Drakken was a blue _idiot_! Her contract said that she _had_ to support him in whatever hare-brained scheme he came up with, but this last one had left her with her clothes in tatters, bumps and bruises all over her body, a sprained ankle, and a severely hurt pride. Enough! All of their evil plans had come to nothing, usually because Kim Possible interfered with them, but more times than she wanted to admit, the plans simply collapsed in on themselves. She couldn't remember the last time one of their plans had actually _worked_.

She'd taken a holiday to 'work on her tan' as she put it, and hit the Internet instead. She wanted to execute a _sound_ plan for a change. A proper plan. One that left her better off than before. She spent half an hour or so on different Internet search pages, until she found what she was looking for.

"Yes!"

Shego had found a page titled 'Elite Vintners Puppy Refuge Benefit Auction'. Wine makers from all over the world had organised a party in California where they would basically taste and bad-mouth each other's wines, and pat each other on the shoulder telling themselves what good people they were to be giving money none of them would miss to some sickeningly good cause.

Perfect.

People always said that thieves were too lazy to work, but they never appreciated how much work went into a good heist. Least of all Drakken, more's the pity. Shego pulled out her notebook, and started making notes. Dates. Times. People's names and phone numbers. She pulled up maps of the venue, plotted entry and escape routes. Shego covered the wall of her apartment with notes, maps, papers. Went and collected outfits to wear. Learnt her secret identities.

Finally she packed her bag, dropped it in the car, and set off for sunny California. 

* * *

 

Shego, hair brushed to a silky smooth shadow falling gently over her shoulders, two colours of lipstick on, a small puff of perfume but not enough to overpower the wine, walked into her bathroom and turned on the taps, setting the temperature to hotter than hot. She added some nice bubble bath and watched it foam up. Shego carried in a side table, put on a light green tablecloth and two crystal wine glasses. She put tea lights all over the bathroom and lit them. She went to her bedroom, fetched a phone and put that next to the glasses. She looked round. Perfect. Finally, she carried in the bottle and carefully put it on the side table. She felt the temperature of the water. Lovely.

Shego dropped her gown to the floor, slowly got into the bath, till only her head and her toes stuck out above the bubbles. Nobody was going to do this sort of thing for her. She had to do it herself. With a feeling almost like butterflies in her stomach, she picked up the bottle and poured herself a glass of blood-red wine. She swirled it round in the glass, smelled it, took a small sip.

She breathed in. Leaned back, careful not to spill any wine. She looked at the ceiling, sighed, and laughed. She took another gulp of wine, and looked at the last bit in her glass, reveling in the idea that she had just swallowed about _two million dollars_! Better not spill... Oh what the hell. Cackling with laughter, she turned over her glass and poured a few hundred thousand dollars worth of wine into her bath.

The phone rang. Shego put down her glass and picked it up.

"Hello-o!"

"Shego? Is that you?"

Shego squealed with delight. " _Kimmy!_ "

"Oh shut up. Where is it, and what do you want to give it back."

"Give _what_ back?" Hah! As if she didn't know. But she was going to milk this for every drop it was worth.

"The bottle of wine you stole. The one that would have paid for fifty puppy shelters all over the country."

"I am _tip_ -sy!"

There were three seconds of stunned silence on the other end.

"You _wouldn't!_ Not even _you_ would be that evil."

"Aww Kimmy, you say the nicest things!"

"Shego! You sick, twisted, evil b..."

"Ah-ah! Family show, remember?"

"What you do to _me_ isn't important. I can take it. But now, little puppies are going to have to sleep out in the rain!" Kimmy almost sobbed. "In the _rain_ , Shego! How could you?"

"Oh Kimmy? Could you explain to me what an orgasm is? Because I think I just had one."

Shego could hear Kimmy breathing down the phone, teeth bare. "I'll get you for this. You're going to be sorry."

"If you want that wine back, just crawl up my sewer in an hour or two. Bye-ee!"

Shego turned off the phone, threw it away. She poured herself another glass of wine. She hadn't been this happy since... she tried to remember and failed. Forever! She leaned back, took sips of pure red bliss, and waited. 

* * *

 

Blonde didn't suit Shego, but a disguise was a disguise. She walked into the auction hall as if she could buy the place out of the petty cash. Someone took her to a comfortable chair away from the plebs who were sitting on plastic seats in the main hall. She was just in time for the main lot of the auction. The most expensive bottle of wine in the whole world ever stood inside a glass case on the table. Apparently it had been bottled for Papa Benedictus Tertius Decimus, but never delivered because of an unfortunate drive-by excommunication. The bidding started at five million dollars. Shego raised a finger.

"Six million. Six million. Do I hear seven? Seven? Seven to the gentleman in the back! Anyone? This is a unique bottle, ladies and gentlemen."

"Eight!" said Shego, in a tone of voice that would not be denied.

"Eight for the lady to the right. Anyone else? Anyone else at all? Going... going..."

"Nine million!" The gentleman stood up, glaring at Shego, daring her to...

"Ten," said Shego, almost bored.

The gentleman seethed, looked at his accountant, who waved her hands in a panic. He turned back to the auctioneer.

"Ten million five hundred thousand!"

The auctioneer looked back at Shego, who said nothing.

"Ten and a half million. Ten and a half million! Ten and a half million going once... Going twice..."

"Eleven!"

Shego's rival turned back to his accountant, who made a short remark, got up, and left the room.

"Eleven million dollars going once... going twice... Sold! Eleven million dollars for Dame Wobakoff!"

There was a shout from the back of the room. " _Wobakoff?!_ "

Shego calmly walked up to the auctioneer.

"Congratulations, Ma'am," he said. "The Elite Vintners Puppy Refuge will be glad of your kind donation."

Shego gave the auctioneer a brilliant smile, listening to the noises of running feet and shouts behind her.

"Well, there is one little problem with that," said Shego. "I don't have any money! None at all! So I'll just have to..." She ripped off the ugly wig and the pretty dress, revealing her green-and-black outfit. " _Steal it!_ " 

 

With one green blast from Shego's hand, the glass case shattered into a thousand pieces. Shego grabbed the bottle and put it into her backpack as she ran.

" _Shego!_ "

The voice of Kim Possible rang in Shego's ears. How did she know where Shego would be? Well, someone had obviously tipped her off. Shego even knew who it was, namely none other than... Shego herself. She'd left a message under an alias in the Everlot wiki where she could be sure that Wade would spot it, and that was all it took to lure Kimmy to the place. What would be the point if Kimmy _wasn't_ there? She'd have a bottle of wine that she didn't even like much. She could have done that at the mall. No, what made this bottle the best she would ever taste, was snatching it away right from under Kimmy's nose, and getting away with it.

Shego sprinted into a barn where there was one of these over-grown fruit presses that wine makers used to squeeze grapes. The lid was wide open, leading into a dark hole, looking like an underground tunnel Shego could use to escape.

Shego took a phone from her pocket, tossed it into the press, then hid behind it. It started to beep when she hit a speed dial on her own phone. Two seconds later, Kim came rushing in, took one look at the escape hatch, and leapt in. Shego jumped up and slammed it closed on top of her. She spun the handles on top of the press, and the lid came down, slowly, surely, with enough force to squeeze the juice out of barrels of grapes. Or out of one cheerleader. Shego kept turning the handles until she felt the resistance of Kimmy's slender body, about to become slimmer still. Inside the wine press, Kim screamed, the kind of scream that realised she was going to die.

That was just silly.

With Kim dead, who would she fight? Of all the people she could fight in the world, Kim gave Shego the most satisfaction. She had such a wonderful talent for suffering. The frightened look in her eyes when Shego hit her with her fireballs. Those painful noises when she crashed into a wall. Her screams when she fell off something high. Shego would miss that so much if Kim was dead. She'd happily take a few punches herself just for the pleasure of fighting Kim.

She would never _kill_ Kimmy!

_Hurting_ Kimmy, though, was what Shego lived for.

She gave the handles an extra twist, and imagined she could hear Kim's bones crack inside. Shego took a few seconds to listen to the delicious desperate cries coming from inside. As a final touch, she pulled a permanent marker out of her pocket and wrote a few words on the lid.

With an evil chuckle, she sprinted to her car, and drove off into the sunset. 

* * *

 

There was a crash as Shego's front door parted company with the wall. Kim Possible stormed in, and into Shego's bathroom. Shego wiggled her fingers at her.

"Hey Kimmy! You look a bit flat. Well, more flat than usual."

Kim looked down on Shego, naked except for a thick layer of bubbles. She raised her fists. "I'm going to..."

Shego only chuckled. "Oh come on. I even left your boyfriend a message how to get you out."

Kim growled. "Lefty loosey, righty tighty?"

"Yeah."

"Ron thought you were trying to fool him."

Shego exploded with laughter. "Oh, would I?"

"Get out of that bath and put on some clothes so I can thrash you."

"Oh what for? You're not going to give that bottle back to them empty are you? I've _won_! For a change."

Shego sat up, and poured the last bit of wine into the second glass, being careful not to pour it out completely. The last bit always had the dross in, which wasn't nice. She picked up the glass and held it up to Kim.

"Wanna know what eleven million dollars tastes like?"

Kim gave Shego a long hard look. She reached out, took the glass from Shego's hand and emptied it in one long draught. She gave the glass back to Shego.

"People _pay_ for this?"

"I know, right?"

Kim took a deep breath. "You're going to stick that bottle in the recycling?"

"Oh Kimmy, you know me better than that. I'm breaking it and putting it in the green bin."

"You're evil. Through and though."

Shego splashed bath water over Kim. "In other news, water's wet, fire's hot."

"Right then." Kim turned round, looked over her shoulder. "You working next week?"

"Yeah."

" _Climate scientists?_ What the heck do you want with climate scientists?"

"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

"Huh," said Kim, and made to walk out of the door.

"Oh, can you put my door back?"

Kim waved. "Sure." 

 

Shego leaned back into her bath and mixed in some more hot water. She hadn't actually liked the wine. But another taste, she did like. She didn't get to taste it often, so when she did, she'd etter enjoy it.

The taste of victory. 


End file.
